“GOOOOOOOOD MOOOORNING, LAFAYETTE!”
This is your unauthorized, unfiltered, and ever-so-slightly over-caffeinated host comin’ at you live from the swamps of government-mandated mediocrity and straight into your battered Ford truck radio—or possibly a high-tech surveillance drone, I can’t keep track anymore.
And let me tell ya—if truth were a spice, this next track is pure cayenne. Coming to you straight from the department of emotional warfare and mutual destruction, it’s a little ditty for lovers, liars, and the emotionally evasive:
“Don’t Tell a Lie About Me, Dear (And I Won’t Tell the Truth About You).”
Yes sir, it’s diplomacy at its finest—Southern-style. A lyrical non-aggression pact so smooth, it ought to be negotiated by the State Department and served with a side of étouffée.
So pour yourself some coffee—black as your last breakup—and lean into this swampy confession wrapped in sweet denial. Because down here in Lafayette, we don’t air our dirty laundry…
We broadcast it.
“Hit it, boys!”
“GOOD MORNING, INDO-PACIFIC!”
Broadcasting live from somewhere they haven’t drone-striked—yet. Let’s break down this Taiwan–China situation faster than a CCP fact-checker deleting history.
On one side, we’ve got Taiwan—a plucky island democracy with free elections, free press, and enough microchips to make your iPhone beg for mercy. On the other side, we’ve got the People’s Republic of China, a regime so allergic to tradition they had to burn their own civilization just to prove a point.
Now, Beijing says Taiwan is part of China. Taiwan says, ‘Funny, we don’t remember signing that lease.’ And the world? The world nods awkwardly while tiptoeing around the world’s angriest authoritarian toddler with nukes.
Here’s the kicker: the calligraphy’s better in Taipei, the archives are safer, and the martial arts still know what a punch is. That’s right, folks—you may own the mainland, but Taiwan owns the memory.
So to all you folks listening out there in the demilitarized digital frontier, remember this: Taiwan has the soul, the scrolls, and the scroll wheel. China’s got censorship, surveillance, and Xi Jinping’s selfie on your toaster.
And as we say in the ancient language of freedom memes:
TAIWAN NUMBER ONE.
What you just witnessed is a legendary internet moment that began as a spontaneous Twitch interaction and quickly went viral. The clip features a “Taiwanese” gamer delivering a defiant, joyful “Taiwan Number One!” in the face of nationalist trolls—instantly becoming a rallying cry for free speech, digital resistance, and the memetic rejection of authoritarian erasure.
It’s satire, it’s truth, and it’s banned in China.
For those curious about how Taiwan became the guardian of China’s cultural heritage during the tumultuous mid-20th century, delve into the detailed account of the Retreat of the government of the Republic of China to Taiwan. This pivotal event not only shaped the island’s destiny but also preserved countless treasures of Chinese civilization.
Explore the Great Retreat
Featured here is one of its most iconic characters: Homey D. Clown, the parolee-turned-children’s clown who refuses to play by society’s degrading rules. In this sketch, “Homey D. Clown’s One Stop Carnival,” Jim Carrey plays a clueless white dad asking Homey to guess his wife’s weight. What happens next? Let’s just say Homey still don’t play that.
You don’t just laugh—you learn. You feel. And most importantly, you remember what comedy looked like when it told the truth and socked you in the face (with a foam hammer). Shared by Daniel Millsap with cultural pride and archival duty.
GOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING, USA!
Now listen, folks—I meant to give you a full spread yesterday, I really did. Then my router had a spiritual awakening and decided to reincarnate as a blinking paperweight. You know how it goes.
Which brings me to this: NSA, where you at? Not to wiretap me, no sir. Just to hook a brother up with some of that sweet, sweet Freedom-Fi. Think of it as digital reparations for all those years of unrequited surveillance.
But today we’re talkin’ about something that’ll tickle your liberty bone: the Freedom of Information Act. That’s right—Freedom of Information, baby.
Because let’s face it: with the economy in freefall, gas prices higher than your ex-girlfriend’s expectations, and Joe Bob Hankins Jr. out here singing about how he’s “done worryin’ ’bout takin’ care of a lady,” well—you gotta find hobbies. Affordable hobbies. Hobbies that won’t leave you emotionally shattered, broke, or too drunk to get to work tomorrow.
So I filed myself a Freedom of Information Act request. For fun.
And let me tell you—
It’s thrilling. It’s cheap. It’s 100% legal.
And it comes with the added bonus of being completely, utterly, and absolutely ignored.
Unless, of course, you get hit with what the cool kids in the intelligence community call a Glomar response—that’s when the agency politely tells you:
“We can neither confirm nor deny the existence of the information you have requested.”
It’s the romantic equivalent of your partner making dinner, slamming every cabinet in the kitchen, and saying, “I’m just tired.”
So file your own FOIA today. Claim it. Frame it. Hang it. Make it the centerpiece of your bunker foyer. You too can own a sliver of government transparency—completely censored, of course.
Exhibit A: NSA politely declining to tell me anything. As expected.
A looping visual satire shared by Daniel Millsap under “Things I Like.”
Description:
This recording features the inimitable Tito Schipa performing Handel’s “Ombra mai fu”, also known as the “Largo” from the opera Serse. The aria is a rare moment in Baroque opera where power gives way to stillness: a king praises the shade of a tree not for its utility, but for its quiet beauty. Schipa’s interpretation leans into this inwardness, offering a performance that is both delicate and sublime. His restrained tenor invites reflection rather than spectacle, rendering this piece a whispered act of devotion to the natural order. Handel’s music, through Schipa, becomes not just heard, but spiritually inhabited.
Hamilton’s Pharmacopeia – Ultra LSD (CIA Approved?)
“If it’s good enough for the CIA, it’s good enough for me.”
“Endorsed by the folks who thought LSD could make you spill your darkest secrets.”
“Psychedelics, mind control, and your tax dollars at work.”
➤ Learn more about Hamilton’s Pharmacopeia
➤ Explore the CIA’s secret LSD mind control program